I'm trying and trying..

Hurm...

Sometimes the best for you may not be something you like and make you a bit down. They say change is for the better, and I pray so too. This life is filled with ups and downs that will not settle until you're 6 feet under. Well, that's a life for the people He loves and I pray I am one of them.

It's so hard to fight the feeling. I do not want to feel this way when I should feel that this might be the best decision for me. I'm torn between following and staying behind. But I do not want to leave him at a time where he needs me. And I know he does.

But being a loyal daughter in-law, I will obey and hope that by tomorrow it will leave my heart in peace. I will be loyal and faithful. That is my promise.

Ya Allah, make me worthy of Your Love... Amiin..

"Cinta" by GH
"Hold My Hand" by Maher Zain
"For The Rest of My Life" by Maher Zain
"Try Again" by Aaliyah
"Ya Rab" by Marwan Khoury and Carole Samaha

For He shall I...

Things went haywire today as well as I did. It's been crazy for the last few days that I just got fed up. Hmm.. I pray things'll get better. They usually do, so I put hope in that.

Being a wife full-time is no easy work, people! You need physical and emotional and spiritual and more bla-bla-bla prep. I knew it anyways but because I knew I was ready for that new status change, I went for it. God knows what I've learnt in the past few months already. :)

I've thought this through and I'm sure that I won't regret this. I know He's always there for me as long as I live. He knows how confused I was before accepting this and how sure I was when I accepted this.

God is my everything. For He is the reason. For He shall I live and die. For He shall I ask for everything. For He shall I be strong. For He shall I strive for His love and His all. For He is The Only who decides. And I pray for Your Worthiness and Your Forgiveness, Ya Allah...

'Cinta' by GH